‘Marriage of Convenience’
By Bari Auerbach

The City Commission recently approved guidelines for allowing weddings and special events on the beach. But what if that privilege was extended to other convenient places in the city that could also be perfect for taking the plunge into wedded bliss!

Rascal House Weddings: Imagine saying your vows on a Sunday morning at the city’s landmark deli where waitresses wearing corsages could be your bridesmaids and your wedding cake could be a cheesecake! But don’t wait to book your date…demolition crews are coming and you wouldn’t want to miss saying “I do!” in-between bites of bagels and pastrami sandwiches!

Rock Sports Weddings: What guy wouldn’t love tying the knot at the Rock Sports Bar & Grill on Sunny Isles Boulevard? You could plan Monday night nuptials when football games are on big plasma TV screens so grooms won’t have to miss a minute of NFL action. Of course, the actual ceremony would take place during half-time; guests could toast the happy couple with draft or bottled beers; and instead of tossing the bouquet, the bride could pass a football!

Park Weddings: Now that Sunny Isles Beach has so many parks, loving couples can plan their weddings amidst nature…And in keeping with the “green theme,” guests could be encouraged to take a city shuttle bus instead of driving to the ceremony. If you’re not in a hurry, you might want to wait for the water taxi terminal proposed for Bella Vista Park. But if you want to set a wedding date in the near future, Town Center Park would be ideal since restrooms are now available!

Collins Ave. Weddings: Now that the city has made such a big investment in landscaping, you could have your wedding on a Collins Avenue median instead of hiring an expensive florist! If it’s a Jewish wedding, just be sure to place the hoopa by one of the safe crosswalks – and after the groom breaks the glass, be sure all the shards are cleaned up so you won’t get sued if a litigious pedestrian cuts their foot!

Religious Weddings: Since Sunny Isles Beach has a church and synagogue within city limits, you could plan a traditional wedding in a house of worship…Just hope and pray your date doesn’t coincide with the discovery of a “holy vision” attracting thousands from all over the country because that could really jack up the catering bill!

Government Center Weddings: Imagine having your wedding in the Commission Chambers at Government Center! You could set the date on virtually any third Thursday of the month when regular Commission meetings are held and it would really be a win-win situation…The city would love filling the usually empty seats – and in case you decide to draft a pre-nuptial, the city attorney might be willing to volunteer his services!

If none of the above options seems just right for your dream wedding, then you may want to think about getting married on the beach as long as you follow guidelines established by the city (don’t think there’s anything in the rules about banning shotguns!)

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