Life in the City
By Bari Auerbach

‘A Day at the Beach’
It’s another beautiful weekend in the city and the weather is perfect for enjoying a day at the beach – the only catch is first you’ll have to make a few decisions...

*Will you or won’t you wear a bathing suit? Thanks to liberal laws allowing nude beaches, there’s no longer any need to leave anything to the imagination. However, if you want to avoid a sunburn that could potentially be pretty painful – or the likelihood of seeing people past their 80th birthdays in their birthday suits – then it’s probably best to play it safe and stay at the beach where bathing suits are most often worn.

*Which beach access point will you use? The Sunny Isles Beach City Commission recently approved the purchase of 21 beach access signs to be placed along Collins Avenue - highlighting the proactive fact there’s plenty of ways to reach the beach. But now that the trend is naming beach access points after revered civic activists - will getting to the beach become like a popularity contest?

After all, who wouldn’t want to make a concerted effort to walk to the shoreline via the access point named after someone they greatly admire? Conversely, some might say, “I’d rather go out of my way to find a walkway named after someone I like even better!”

*Should you swim? In the event there’s ever a pollution concern, you’ll be notified it’s not safe to swim in the ocean – but if you’re not quite sure – just check out the people already taking the plunge. If you notice they’re turning an unusual shade of green and/or emitting a strange glow, you’d obviously be better off staying out of the water.

The good news is, ever since the city approved a budget allocation for four additional full-time lifeguards it’s safer than ever to swim. But be forewarned...there’s probably a hefty fine that can be levied for feigning a drowning incident just to get CPR from a hunky lifeguard!

*What time to go? The old saying “timing is everything” can also be applied to figuring out the optimal times of the day to find your spot in the sun. However, if you should encounter a few shadows – don’t despair. Your dermatologist will actually be thrilled that you’ve lessened the risk for sun damage; and local tanning salons will really appreciate your patronage.

*What to bring? Along with all the usual beach paraphernalia – you might also want to consider bringing along a language interpreter so you can communicate with visitors coming to Sunny Isles Beach from all over the world; a wildlife expert to ensure the sea turtles are protected; and a beach attendant so you can get a chaise lounge, shady umbrella and tropical drink. Oh – and don’t forget a Geiger counter so you can follow the signal to a “heavy metal” band still waiting to be asked to play at one of the city’s Sunny Serenade concerts.

While there may be much to contemplate before heading out for a day of sun and fun in Sunny Isles Beach, the “very best decision” is choosing to enjoy life in a city where the word “beach” is actually part of its name! (PS: Be advised...You could be fined $5 for saying Sunny Isles without Beach if a code enforcement official ever overhears you).

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