By Bari Auerbach

‘On the ballot’

This November, Sunny Isles Beach residents will be asked if they want to consolidate city and county-wide elections. This move could save the city thousands and increase voter turnout – but what if there could be other important questions like these you could vote on too:

Should elections coincide with holidays?

It was recently suggested there might be greater voter turnout if elections were held when people didn’t have to go to work – like on weekends and holidays. Vote “yes” if you agree Thanksgiving would be an ideal election date…After all, it’s a holiday in November when most people are in town; it’s a day to be “thankful” for freedoms like the democratic process; and after eating so much, people might really feel like getting up and exercising their right to vote. Then again, there are so many football games on Thanksgiving day, touchdowns just might outnumber fans at touch screen voting machines!

Should there be a Starbucks in every condo?

Just think how convenient it would be if Starbucks was granted approval to put a kiosk in the lobby of every Sunny Isles Beach condo! Instead of closing more locations, Starbucks could share in profits from the city’s booming population. Vote “yes” if you want to help reduce long lines at all the existing Starbucks and get your caffeine infusion before you fall asleep standing up.

Should there be rewards for good driving?

Bad drivers get tickets and have to pay hefty fines – so why not institute a reward program as an incentive for good driving?! Vote “yes” if you think motorists who don’t speed, run stop signs, block intersections or cause accidents should be eligible for special prizes like free gas and bumper stickers that say “I didn’t rear-end anyone today!”

Should there be “rude citations”?

If you’re next in line when a new register opens and the person behind you makes a mad dash to get there before you - should they get a “rude citation”? Vote “yes” if you agree the city should hire politeness enforcement officers on the lookout for rude violations like stealing parking spaces; saying it’s your turn when it’s not at take-out food counters; and talking really loud on your cell phone at the movies.

Should there be a cat park?

Sunny Isles Beach now has a designated dog park – but what about equal opportunity for cats? Vote “yes” if you feel felines are entitled to have their own park too. You could also vote in favor of a proposed compromise to have a combined dog/cat park…The concept would test the viability of avoiding cat fights by recognizing the dogma of “greater good” initiatives.

So don’t forget to vote – and if anyone ever asks, “Do you love living in Sunny Isles Beach?” be sure to help perpetuate the most prevalent answer: “100% yes!!”