By Bari Auerbach

‘Predicting the Future’

You don’t have to call the psychic hotline to predict what the future might hold for Sunny Isles Beach in 2009. Here are just some not too preposterous predictions for the New Year…

No More Taxes! The city will soon be collecting thousands in fines from cameras catching red light runners – so just imagine if there were cameras at every light in Sunny Isles Beach…Within a couple of years, so much revenue would be collected, it’s predicted property taxes could be abolished forever!

More Sand!  Preservationists are predicting beach renourishment initiatives will bring more sand to the beaches so there will always be enough room for sun worshipers flocking to Sunny Isles Beach from all over the world. But just in case there’s a shortage - truckloads of sand are on standby to be imported from the Sahara (not the motel!)

Less Traffic! Optimistic drivers are predicting the city will come up with solutions to make certain roads look less like Manhattan at rush hour…Since the threat of a hefty fine doesn’t seem to be enough  to stop intersection blockers – maybe jail time in a maximum security prison with no chance of parole would be a more effective deterrent. 

Smarter Kids! Now that the Sunny Isles Beach Community School has opened, scholars are predicting kids in the city will be even smarter than ever before…Hope that means our country will have brilliant future leaders capable of saving the world - just in case President-elect Obama doesn’t.

Bigger Events! If you thought the city celebrated holidays like Easter, July 4th and Halloween in a big way – Stubhub is predicting even bigger events will soon be coming…In fact, some wishful thinkers are already standing in line for tickets to see Sunny Serenade concerts featuring Madonna and Mick Jagger – who would definitely be tempted to retire in Sunny Isles Beach.

Greater Prosperity! Despite hard times, financial experts are predicting Sunny Isles Beach will continue to help bolster the nation’s economy with brisk sales of bagels, frappuccinos, golf clubs, tennis racquets, suntan lotion, salon services and cosmetic procedures. Even more good news is that if every resident keeps their New Year’s resolutions, the city will be completely smoke-free, fat-free, grudge-free and stress-free for at least a few days in ’09!