By Bari Auerbach

'Talk of Town'

For years, the City of Sunny Isles Beach has been planning to create a vibrant Town Center district between Sunny Isles Boulevard and the west side of Collins Avenue at 172nd Street. In keeping with the goal to promote an upscale image, only certain types of developments are allowed per zoning regulations. But just to make sure luxury prevails; perhaps there should be some more prohibited uses like these…

*No truck stops! Automobile and light truck new sales agencies or rentals are already prohibited in the Town Center district – but for good measure, truck stops should also be banned…after all, traffic on Collins would be even worse if convoys were encouraged.

*No chop shops! Pawnshops are already prohibited so chop shops should be too – unless of course they’re the kind that sell the kind of steaks, chops and ribs Tony Roma’s is famous for.

*No Laundromats! Automobile washing establishments aren’t allowed in the Town Center district – and even though the city wants a “clean, pristine” image, Laundromats shouldn’t be allowed to open either. Nowadays, water conservation is a top priority so for sure - all those civic-minded condos on Collins with the fancy fountains wouldn’t mind letting residents add in a little laundry detergent every now and then.

*No Self-Service Gas Stations! This is an especially smart prohibited use since the concept of “self-service” definitely conflicts with the pampered life being promoted in Sunny Isles Beach. Self-service check out lanes at grocery stores should also be outlawed since hearing the machine incessantly repeat “your item was not properly placed in the bag” can get pretty annoying.

*No Rip Offs! Preventing price gouging in the Town Center District is already being accomplished in part since the installation of automobile tires, batteries and accessories is already prohibited. But the addition of an umbrella statement like “no rip offs” would really be welcome – especially by all those who have ever paid way too much for things like organic produce, gourmet coffee or a designer outfit that went on sale the day after you bought it.

*No Remorse! Anyone lucky enough to live in Sunny Isles Beach knows “sheer happiness” is the only emotion most prevalent throughout the city where ongoing initiatives that prioritize efforts to revitalize and make the best even better are always the talk of the town!