By Bari Auerbach

    ‘In the News’

Octuplets Born:  Here in Sunny Isles Beach, stores would certainly appreciate a local baby boom…But since eight is way more than enough, it might be better to keep it down to twins or triplets so Publix doesn’t ever run out of baby food and there’s never a stroller traffic jam at the parks!

Miracle on the Hudson: It was amazing when that plane landed on the Hudson River in New York – but it would be even more miraculous if cars on Collins could sprout wings and land at their destinations a little bit faster! 

Phelps & A-Rod Apologize: It’s ethical to own up to a mistake – so the next time a Sunny Isles Beach police officer pulls you over and accuses you of speeding or running a red light, “Just Admit It!” Maybe you won’t get a medal or a stadium named after you – but you might get off with only a warning instead of a ticket!

Obama Signs Stimulus Bill: Mortgage relief and tax breaks are good – but it would be great if “retail relief” around town could stimulate more shopping sprees. It would also be nice if neighborhood restaurants could stimulate appetites by lowering prices to offer more bagel breaks, coffee breaks and lunch breaks!

Snuggie Selling Out: The blanket with arms is all the rage – but in Sunny Isles Beach where it’s often quite humid, a better best seller might be the “Muggie” – a T-shirt with built-in ventilation ducts releasing intermittent blasts of cold air!

Peanut Butter Recall: Luckily, the Epicure gourmet market has plenty of almond butter to tide us all over until it’s safe to splurge on Reese’s again!

Netflix Business Booming: Despite the struggling economy, movies-by-mail service Netflix recently reported a rise in profits…This could be due to Sunny Isles Beach residents spending more time cocooning. After all, if you’re lucky enough to live in a luxurious condo by the ocean with a tropical swimming pool, on-site spa, tennis courts, game room, library, concierge, state-of-the-art security system and valet service – why would you ever want to venture far from home??