by Bari Auerbach

"Signs of the Times"

There are a lot of different signs around town, but wouldn’t it be great if the city could add some really informative and helpful ones like these:

Cop Hiding Around Corner:  This sign would definitely get motorists to drive on their best behavior – and just think how much money this warning could help the city save on salaries for motor patrol officers and paper for printing tickets!

Very Long Wait Ahead: If these signs were posted at places like pharmacies, phone stores, doctors’ offices and Collins Avenue at the height of tourist season, we could all be prepared to pack survival kits with books to read, snacks, games for the kids and a pillow for sleeping comfortably until it’s your turn to be “next in line.”  

Caution: You Never Know Who’s Listening: This sign would serve as a helpful reminder that the couple in the booth behind you could be the ones going through that nasty divorce you’re gossiping about – or it could make you think twice about saying you could do a much better job than your boss just before she comes out of the restroom stall.

Stop Texting: The hope is that frequent texters would abide by this sign before they rear-end you.

Stroller Crossing: This sign could help make it safer to cross the street with a baby stroller – but at the rate the city’s population of young families is growing, it would have to be posted on every corner!

Wipe Down, Disinfect, Sterilize and Fumigate the Equipment!! Everyone at the gym who doesn’t want to catch the flu would certainly appreciate this sign – or better yet  - a sign on the door that says “Please Stay Home If You’re Sick!”
 
Very Good Signs: Despite the city’s strict ordinances regulating what kind of signs can be posted in Sunny Isles Beach, code enforcement officers would surely waive all fines if everyone posted signs outside their doors declaring, “We Love Living Here!” 

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