By Bari Auerbach



‘Community Service’

Ever since news broke that the City of Sunny Isles Beach will be maintaining high levels of service for fiscal year 2009-2010, everyone has been talking about some of the free services they wish could be added to the list…

Free Towel and Suntan Lotion Service: Wouldn’t it be nice if you didn’t have to bring a towel along to the beach because there would be attendants all across the shoreline waiting to hand you one to spread out when you find your perfect spot in the sun? And if you have kids, it would be even better if there was a special towel selection to choose from featuring pictures of their favorite TV characters!

Then, once you’re totally relaxed on your towel, yet another team of attentive beach attendants could come around offering to rub suntan lotion your back…A very essential service given the negative effects of excessive sun exposure…Of course by now, you may be thinking, whoever imagined such services could be provided by a city has probably had way too much sun!

Free Coffee Service: If the city provided free coffee for everyone, just imagine how much more alert motorists and store employees would be. Then you’d never have to worry about getting rear-ended by a drowsy driver or charged the wrong amount by a weary store clerk – definitely invaluable public services the whole community would appreciate!

Free Maid Service: What a luxury it would be if the city would provide housekeepers for every resident! Then instead of having to stay home and clean – everyone could spend much more time outdoors enjoying all the amenities offered at city parks.

Free Postal Service: Waiving all fees for postage stamps in consideration for helping to promote Sunny Isles Beach would be a great city service – especially considering how much emphasis is placed on spreading the word that Sunny Isles Beach as an ideal vacation destination. If all residents could simply write outside the envelope “this letter is being sent to prospective tourists” – then it would never get stamped return to sender for lack of proper postage!

Free Spirits:  If ever there was a city that could provide the unmatched service of helping to keep citizens perpetually happy and stress-free, it’s Sunny Isles Beach - where the best things in life, like surf and sun, are already absolutely free!