‘Law & Order’

The city has a code of ordinances providing for fines and other penalties that may be imposed if someone is caught “breaking the rules.” But perhaps the following regulations should be added to help deter flagrant violations like these:

*Too short shorts: A person at the gym wearing shorts barely covering their bottom is working out on the hamstring curl machine leaving nothing to the imagination - except why in the world they would choose to visually traumatize all the other members who have to see what should be hidden! Suggested Fine: Paying a personal shopper to help choose appropriate attire.      

*Horn abuse: The light turns green and before you can put your foot on the gas pedal, the Red Bull drinking driver in the car behind you leans on the horn to “encourage” you to peel out like Mario Andretti. Suggested Fine: Making the impatient driver wait at the light that takes forever to turn green for at least four or five cycles.

*Medication mixups: The doctor accidentally gives you a prescription for medication in a pill form - not realizing it only comes in a liquid - but the pharmacist refuses to give you the liquid because the prescription is for the pills (that don’t exist) and says you’ll have to wait for the doctor to authorize the change. Suggested Fine: A course in red-tape removal at Government Center, where you can get permits faster than most pharmacies fill prescriptions!

*Shoddy repairs:Your car breaks down the day after you get it back from the mechanic. Suggested Fine: Making the mechanic come and wait for the tow truck; go to the rental car agency and pay for an ugly Hyundai -  plus the expense of extra insurance, the extra-strength Tylenol for your headache that’s now in overdrive and the tension relieving massage you’re going to need from a local spa.

*Slow service: After waiting a long time for your meal at a restaurant, you start to think the hidden agenda is to make diners so hungry that when the food comes, no one will really care if it doesn’t taste that good. Suggested Fine: Making the chef have to listen to the complaints of every cranky customer and crying kid.
 
Fortunately, in this jurisdiction, residents are law abiding citizens appreciating public safety in Sunny Isles Beach - where enjoying life in the city is the law of the land!